Writing In the Skies * Mysteries In My Birth Chart

Here, I open up my birth chart, with some observations as to how interpretation of a chart works, and also how we can identify mysteries which are foretold in a birth chart. Sometimes they are quite starkly revealed but unless the astrologer is open to such mysteries and “dark secrets” these mysterious clues will be missed.

Each chart is unique; each person’s life begins before birth and is profoundly affected by the choice of parents and birth circumstances.  Very often, the mother’s choices and life patterns are as clear in a client’s chart as are those of the client.

As always in the astrology of family history – one of the ways we can talk about DNA in the birth chart – we look for the placement of Pluto, Saturn and Neptune.  These can refer to deception, betrayal, and denial as part of the childhood; Uranus too must be considered because here is where sudden shocks, revelations and even blows of emotional or physical kind can be foretold.

The Ascendant (or Rising Sign), for Vedic and Medieval Astrologers, has always been the focal point of the chart, regardless of Sun Sign.

In my case, the Sun, Moon, and Mercury are all in Aquarius, and my life and personality clearly reflect this. But I have Libra Rising, and when someone gets close enough to see (not easy with an Aquarian) it becomes evident that in my everyday preferences, clothes, decor, handling of situations, etc, I really express the qualities of Libra more than Aquarius. You have to poke and prod quite a bit before “the Aquarian” comes out in full view and when it does, it can be a revelation to those around me, but also to myself…

So in my Libra form, I have always sought deep friendships, and this trait is helped, but also hindered by the Aquarius near-reverence for friendship as the ultimate earthly relationship.  Hindered partly because Aquarians love of solitude as much as friendship, and partly because Aquarian ideals about friendship cause disillusionment and retreat on the part of the Aquarian.

But back to Libra –  have the typical fascination with Asia, especially China, that most Librans have. I discovered too a strong affinity for strategic studies and political science the moment I entered university, part of the Libran love of doing puzzles and working with relationships, including those at the international level.

The Natural Zodiac Showing the 12 Houses, their ruling Signs and Planets, plus themes.

From childhood I was passionate about justice, seeing both (all) sides of the picture, and have that Libran tendency to be faced constantly with opposites and the requirement to choose between them -this often does not end well! Again, my Aquarius Sun fits very well with the Libran ideals of justice, though the approach to achieving justice can be quite different for these Signs.

Here we see how the Ascendant can feel things very intensely, but it is almost always the Sun Sign that takes the lead when a strong passion like justice-seeking is involved. So my Aquarian tendency has always been to react swiftly and strongly, without calm consideration or planning.  Here is where I would advise myself, if I were my own client, to try to consciously draw upon the Libra side of my abilities for a more wise, measured response to provocations…

The romanticizing of a Libra Ascendant is strengthened by the presence of Neptune which lends a great deal of idealism and faith to my perceptions of the world around me. This combination has made living in the world, with its harsh and cruel realities, almost unbearable for me since early childhood.

Yet in all things I remain a Sun Sign Aquarian, and this is a very strong sign, often underestimated due to its reputation as the off-beat rebel, always seeing things on the distant horizon not yet seen by others, defying conventions and rejecting material goals.

Certainly my own lifetime typifies the Aquarian “code”, for I have listened only to that distant drummer and opted for the open, if often lonely, long and winding Road.

Neptune, Beautiful Planet of Idealism, Delusion, Hypnotism, Faith, Deception, Psychic Gifts

As any astrologer can see, this lifetime has been both blessed and fraught from the beginning with the presence of Neptune at my Ascendant. From psychic gifts from my mother’s line to dark secrets shadowing my conception, my parent’s marriage and my whole life, Neptune can be seen to be a dominant influence…

What really gives the show away is the blue structure with Neptune sextile Venus (Love) and Neptune sextile Pluto (Dark Secrets)/Saturn (Father) with Venus trining the Pluto-Saturn conjunction in the 10th House of the Father. Here we see (amazingly) the history of my mother encoded in my chart, as Venus and its hidden love affair leading to secret fatherhood and the deception encoded in Neptune at my Ascendant, the place in the chart which symbolizes the moment of physical birth and early childhood.

Pluto plays its role as the symbol of that which is buried deep, carrying stigma, shame, fear of discovery, threat – it becomes the Dark Secret.

So although from my mother’s DNA I received Neptune’s psychic gifts, I also came under the influence – all my life – of her secrets. One of these was that she had given up for adoption another daughter before the War, and yes, that was apparently a secret love affair with a married man – so there is the Pluto/Saturn trine Venus at work.

The deception vibes of Neptune first came into play for me when a relative spilled the secret to me, thinking she would have shared this with me as she shared so much, but years later, when I mentioned it to her, she angrily denied it and I – for some reason – never brought it up again.

I believed it was none of my business, of course, on the one hand; but on the other hand, I had kept my child where she had not, and though supportive of me early on, later she criticized me very harshly to my son and to others, though I felt, all things considered, that she had taken a somewhat less difficult path than had I.

My childhood home – Hillshore, on Bay of Quinte, circa 1952

But the real secret that mattered, and needed to come out, was the fact that the man I was born into the care of, the man I called “Dad” and loved so desperately, was not my father at all. My DNA results arrived in December on the morning of Christmas Eve, 2019, and I have been “processing” them ever since.

They confirmed what my Dad’s family had always stubbornly maintained – that I was not related in any way to him but was another man’s child. Growing up 2,000 miles from his family, I knew nothing of these dark, resentful beliefs till I moved to Chilliwack in my 20’s with my own baby boy. Then, cousins could not resist bringing it up, even in front of mom, who kept a stony noncommittal face and I just assumed it was all mean gossip from a grandmother not keen on her daughter-in-law.

But I know now that Grandma read it all correctly – even without DNA to prove her point. My DNA results revealed no connections whatsoever, anywhere on the “tree” going back generations on Dad’s side of the family. Instead, there was a second half-sister at the top of my results – not the half-sister mom had given up for adoption (she was there so I knew these were my results), but another one. She still lived in the small town both my mother and my real father came back to after the War ended in 1945.

She and her siblings – my half-siblings – were all very proud of him and his brothers, war heroes that they were. (Facebook does have its uses!) And I could see from pictures they had posted that from about age 3 on, I was a dead ringer for my real father, quizzical little smile and rather uncompromising gaze into the camera!

Me, age 3-4, and yes, there is that same “look” my natural father always had!

Mom must have found it almost impossible to look at me over the years, seeing this man (was it a romance, a rape, a one-night stand ? ) looking back at her from my face.

Mom only arrived in Chilliwack to marry the man I called Dad a week or so before their marriage – even back then, without DNA, my very “premature” arrival must have been a real red flag.

Perhaps Mom confided to Dad that she was already pregnant and he thought he could accept the situation – or perhaps she was adamant his mother was a troublemaker. In any case, he had to have suspected that I was not his child, that I was “the cuckoo egg” tucked into his nest. That, then, is the explanation for the simmering resentment he showed only to me, and the sudden, explosive, unprovoked violence.

Mom covered for him, defended him to the end of her life. Even while he lived, the “official line” that I was always told (as were my friends and my parents’ friends) was that I was the problem, that Dad was fine with other people, so I must be to blame for his outbursts. So I became the repository for mom’s betrayal of dad just weeks before their marriage; his hurt and resentment towards her were completely redirected towards me.

In other words, I suddenly realized that Christmas Eve morning, that I was free. I had lost a father and in his place stood revealed “the Ugly Stepfather” and the Road to the Past – and the real Carol – was open now.

The fascinating thing about Astrology is that all this is written so clearly in the coding of the birth chart. Mercury sits between my Sun (Father) and Moon (Mother) which are otherwise tightly conjunct. Mercury happens to represent the Sign of Gemini as well as “siblings”. Both secrets which would have strained my parent’s connection – my real father, and my mother’s first daughter – were Sun Sign Geminis…

Epilogue

What I have written here is a fraction of what one could see – with the psychic’s eye and the shaman’s journey – in my birthchart.

For each birth chart contains so much information that one could write for days – and I frequently have, when interpreting a client’s chart for them! It is one of the reason’s why an astrology reason costs considerably more than a “simple” short psychic reading.  With the birth chart, we are working with the Book of Life; it reveals what needs to be revealed at any given time – there is always more…

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