The message Aquarius offers in relationship is that the Love is free…and that Love can only ground itself in something larger than itself – which for Aquarius, is our common world.
Note: It is important to find out if you actually are a Sun-Sign Aquarius since the Sign often begins as early as January 19th and especially if you are born on that day, the actual time of day or evening will be vital to know. Many people spend their lives thinking they are Capricorn, but if you are born on January 19th or 20th, do check your birth chart details at Astro.com where you can fill in your place and time of birth to get your whole chart.
Wherever you have Aquarius in your birth chart, this is the area in your life where Aquarian attitudes and feelings (and karma) will manifest. If you have your Moon in Aquarius, your entire emotional world – and your approach to motherhood, memories and spirituality – will be suffused with Aquarian feelings and their other-worldly attunements.
The United States has its Moon in Aquarius – and the unique Aquarian blend of Mothering and Memories manifested historically in the outstretched, protective arms welcoming the immigrant, the lost, homesick, weary and alone, to the shores of a New Land, to a new beginning. Yet maintaining your independence, finding your own way, leaning on no one, these expectations were implied in that beckoning, very Aquarian, Mother’s embrace.
If you have Aquarius Rising (your Ascendant) – as does President Barack Obama, for example – you may seem in key ways to be more Aquarian than someone who has his or her Sun in Aquarius but does not have any other planet or important point in Aquarius. The Ascendant or Rising Sign is thought by many Astrologers – East and West, Medievalist and Modern – to be more important than any other element of your birth chart.
The Aquarian Personality * Understanding Uranus and Saturn
Aquarians are freedom-lovers, social challengers, stereotype-breakers, and innovators. They can change direction at a moment’s notice.
That is Uranus breathing through them – as evidenced in part by the dramatic glyph of Aquarius shown here, and which implies an electrical charge passing through water. In fact, the “waters” of Aquarius may be much closer to the chemical, electrically charged Soup of Primordial Waters from which our Solar System was born – and from perhaps we too were born – than to mere symbolic waters of inspiration as the Man With the Urn is sometimes thought to be pouring out…
Despite the stereotype of Aquarius as the changeling and happy-go-lucky wanderer of the Zodiac, Aquarians can also be conservative, traditional, stubborn, and fixated on issues, situations, and justice not served. That is Saturn – the other ruler of Aquarius – moving to the forefront of the Aquarian psyche. When Saturn is talking, the free-wheeling, often inspirational Aquarian offerings can turn into an intense, pedantic lecture.
Uranus is the best-known ruler of Aquarius and provides the initial spark of creativity. Saturn gives the Aquarian the gift of building, if given the right opportunity.
This is important, because Aquarians often manifest Uranus in its destructive, tearing down the walls capacity! If given a chance, however, Aquarians will rebuild your company or disproven theory after tearing them down and may make you a fortune in the process…Thus Aquarians – despite being thought dreaming visionaries – are good at practical things. You just have to give them the room to do things their way.
They are often good at math, and advanced use of symbolic logic and language – hence Astrology is said to be ruled by Aquarius. And of course, the Internet – which Uranus rules – is a hotbed of technical innovation at a speed which suits Aquarius very well.
The Aquarian finds the Internet a natural habitat with its comfortable, arms-length socializing, in the context of a busy, complex web of humanity. The solitary “geek-friendly” environment of the Internet gives the retiring, often quite shy and odd Aquarius person a comfortable place to socialize in their own way.
Uranus is known esoterically as the higher octave of Mercury and thus denotes Higher Mind. This can deeply affect an Aquarian who will often feel, and sometimes appear, as if they are actually “channelling” from a higher place when they think and speak in creative settings.
Kitaro, the Aquarian New Age musician and author of the Silk Road Suite, says he doesn’t really write his music at all – “It doesn’t come from me, it comes from God”…This is not an unusual – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was an Aquarian, and it was said he received, in complete, perfect and final form, nearly every piece of music he gave to the world.
In fact (and I have seen this) when an Aquarian’s mind reaches a kind of critical mass of engagement, one can almost hear a rush of air, and the words – “we have lift-off” come to mind. This is, strangely enough, not a particularly pleasant experience for either the Aquarian or the person with whom the conversation is occurring.
Nevertheless, this gift from Uranus often manifests as psychic abilities, and of course, draws Aquarius to the study of astrology. As well, the pronounced atunement to other dimensions makes of Aquarius a natural shaman, a bridge between worlds. Not all Aquarians of course develop in these directions, and some may struggle with mental health issues arising from the delicate balance which must be maintained within the psyche of an Aquarian.
Saturn is the ancient classical ruler of Aquarius. It is a common tendency for Astrologers to overlook the role of Saturn in the life, gifts, and burdens of Aquarians. To live their Sun Sign, Aquarians have to be aware of both rulers. They need to accept without guilt or regret that they are uniquely creative and thus cannot be predictable, and that this brings unique challenges into the lives of others. Aquarius does not and cannot fit the more accepted roles laid out by society, and even within alternative streams, tend to fit in only marginally at best.
But Saturn makes them want to fit in, to conform, and to keep their lives safe and predictable. Saturn makes them brood and worry, and doubt their own wunderkind Uranus-style energies. Oddly enough, despite the common emphasis in Western Astrology on Aquarius being “breezy” and relatively carefree, they are – in Vedic (Hindu) and Medieval Astrology – not considered very lucky or happy, and certainly not good marriage candidates from the point of view of economic success.
Saturn, the traditional (and Vedic) ruler of Aquarius, may have ruled Saturnalia, the Roman Harvest Festival as well as agriculture, but the themes of abundance and harvest which once related to crops and material goods are now associated with the reaping of Karma.
Saturn attracts the Aquarian to designing, as well as working with, laws and constitutions. America, with its Moon in Aquarius, is famous for its Constitution as the framework for all other laws.
Aquarans love systems theory and systems building, and can be found creating systems everywhere, whether in office procedures manuals, Mozart’s great compositions, Einstein’s new laws of the universe (Einstein was not, in fact, an Aquarian – but his expansive, higher-knowledge planet Jupiter was in Aquarius, the Sign on Einstein’s magical, occult mysteries 8th House.
And of course Abe Lincoln’s creation of a new, slave-free Union has become the example of Aquarian ideals in political action. Once they have built a system or a project, they may prefer to move on, however, lest they get mired down in details.
Saturn’s heavy burden of responsibility, as well as the Uranus “other-worldly” connections make it hard for the Aquarian to find happiness where most other Signs do – in love and deep personal relationships. In fact, these are often not really on an Aquarian’s radar, as they say. He or she is always aware, at some level, that here is only part-way there and frets that the road of Humanity is still a long one.
The Aquarian Archetype carries deep within it – from Saturn – a natural understanding of karma – what is owed, what is yet to be learned – conferring a life path which is both quest and service. An inner call impels the Aquarian to lead the way, to find the cure, to make the peace, or to raise the flag of freedom and revolution.
Aquarians feel a deep need to love and be loved yet often find that in the end, as in a tragic play on stage, they will have to ride off into the sunset, find another people in need of a leader, another town in need of a sheriff, another cause in which to lose the Self.
Relationships with Aquarians * Be Friends First, Find a Just Cause and Join It
The Symbol of Aquarius is the only male human figure in the Zodiac. This is interesting, as Virgo is the only female human figure in the Zodiac. Yet both are connected in somewhat odd ways to humanity. They are both noted for their tendency to live alone, in lives which whose meaning is fulfilled best, it seems, by forms of service.
Oddly enough, Aquarius can relate to Virgo, and vice versa, as they understand this need to extend the Self but also to keep it very solitary.
It is often observed that it is hard to get close to an Aquarian, that Aquarius is an Air Sign and thus intellectually gifted but emotionally cold. Air Signs Libra and Gemini also relate primarily through mind, yet more easily achieve deep bonds of love and partnership because Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of connectedness, and Gemini by Mercury, a level of mind that is inherently sociable.
There is something innately abstract about the Aquarian Soul, as if the price of certain gifts is the loss of others. One of the lost gifts is the ability to merge with others in the way that the world expects people to do.
It is as if this would be so destructive to the purpose of Aquarius that it has been made almost genetically impossible for Aquarians to seek, accept or achieve intimacy. For this reason, of course, the rest of the “typical Aquarius profile” holds – Aquarians do seem cold and aloof, and do have a very low tolerance for those seeking intimacy in the more traditional, love-song kind of way.
However, there is hope if you are in love with an Aquarian! An Aquarian will value most highly someone who has goals and aspirations beyond the relationship itself, so that the Aquarian is assured that they are not themselves going to be the focus of someone’s intense personal drives.
Rosa Parks, the Aquarian woman who set off the Black civil rights triumphs by refusing to sit at the back of a “white bus”, found a husband who seems to have been perfect for her in a marriage lasting 45 years. He was devoted to civil rights work, and encouraged her to go back to school and be involved in civil rights and social change on her own.
The key here is to realize that if you face forward and focus on something that interests you passionately, you may find your Aquarian has paused beside you, looking in the same direction, and will shyly take your hand. If you forge a true Friendship based on trust and respect, if you do not turn from your goal and if you hold onto that hand, he or she may stay forever.
For many people the ultimate idea of happiness is to be completely indispensable to someone, and in turn, they offer such status to their partner or friend. This makes a relationship akin to staking a claim, really, a kind of ownership. This is extremely uncomfortable for the Aquarian because staking a claim to someone, as one might a gold mine, runs counter to the spiritual requirement to recognize the complete freedom of another human being. “Ownership” of another being, even an animal, seems foreign – a form of slavery.
An Aquarian asks: “Aren’t we fighting all over the world to free our brothers and sisters from the chains – and the history – of being owned? Why would I want to own you, or have you somehow acquire “rights” to me?”
Aquarius * Stranger In a Strange Land
People complain that the interests and enquiring minds of Aquarians can be overwhelming. They feel they are in the presence of a force of nature, a gust of mental energy sweeping them up like a whirlwind, rather than a “normal” everyday person. They feel that the Aquarian’s futuristic, restless urge to explore new frontiers suggests lack of contentment with the status quo, and this can undermine a relationship.
But Aquarians find many non-Aquarians underwhelming. They feel depressed, exhausted, and alienated when their dreams and visions are misinterpreted, rejected, and resented.
Aquarians will panic when incarcerated within needy emotional webs, and feel existential pain in an exchange where their ideas meet with a blank stare or a change of subject.
The Soul, for the Aquarian, is what the person’s “essence” really is – that is why an Aquarian may seem to find your everyday doings and personality uninteresting! But if an Aquarian can connect with your soul, and you are interested in his, then the bond will be instant and forever, regardless of the worldly obstacles or setbacks which may come.
Because the soul connection comes most naturally to an Aquarian, friendship is in many ways the most natural relationship for an Aquarian. Freedom, easygoing companionship, shared interests and ideals, all these succeed where emotional demands and social measurements simply drive the Aquarian into first depression, then desperation, and finally flight.
Aquarius In Love
In the end, perhaps only an Aquarian can know and love another Aquarian, though Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Gemini can make good partners. Aquarius appreciates the deep, silent, unquestioning loyalty of Leo, Sagittarius’ quest for knowledge, the piercing, searching intensity of Scorpio, the mental gifts of Virgo, Libra’s quest for justice, Gemini’s variety of interests and verbal skills, Capricorn’s serious approach to life (they are both ruled by Saturn), and the innovative, fearless leadership of Aries. Aquarius can be overwhelmed by, and distrustful of, the secrecy and emotional needs of the Water Signs – Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces, though the Scorpio intensity, privacy and great abilities will catch the Aquarian eye and they may stay to see what is going on in there…
The Aquarian does love mystery and drama along with freedom, however, and this combination often leads them into odd relationships – with someone who is married, in jail, of another race or culture, possibly (with Saturn in the background denoting karma) handicapped or dealing with a serious karmic problem. This of course can draw the Scorpio personality – and the shadow of Pluto’s secrets – directly to an Aquarian. The fact is, all relationships form, and un-form, as karma rises and fades in our lives until we break free of old patterns, so one’s astrological sign is not the final word. It is often, however, the first word!
Aquarian males and females are very much alike since Aquarius is somewhat androgynous. Though they may never actually show it, Aquarians are capable of painfully obsessive love. Love seems to possess them with the wind and fury of their ruling planet Uranus…Such love often feels very much in conflict with their higher ideals, as Saturn will remind them.
So ironically, it is often the very intensity of this emotion called “Love” that will drive the Aquarian back to a solitary path, unless he or she can find that comfortable, roomy relationship that starts and ends with friendship between equals.
She will touch the life of a man with an unforgettable yearning for something he may never grasp, but is awakened to.
The Animus in the Aquarian Woman is cosmic, spiritual, and magical. Thus home, fireside and babies can be foreign to her. She can however transform a home and family with her playful, ever-young presence, and she can be deeply, fiercely loyal to a man who seeks redemption and transformation.
Pick an Aquarian woman if you have a strong heart and powerful ideals; if you need intuitive understanding and acceptance of what makes you different from the crowd. An Aquarian woman will forgive you much, but don’t – even once – lie to her. This is true of an Aquarian man, perhaps even more so, because a woman’s lies will damage his Anima – though he may rally, if he feels you really need rescuing.
Children will love an Aquarian woman because they are so clearly the same as adults to her – or if she has the telescope the other way on some days, she will be quite unaware that she is supposed to be an adult. An Aquarian woman can make an ideal stepmother, for she will seem like Mary Poppins and be quite willing to give the children all the room and time in the world to accept her.
On the other hand, she may – if unevolved, and this can get ugly – be cold to the point of indifference, especially if she has not had children of her own to help her grasp the depth of her new husband’s love for his children. But her heightened sense of justice and fairness will help her balance a blended home, and her passion for education will be where she bonds deeply with her own and others’ children. She has a knack for sensing and nurturing the uniqueness of each child, and will touch their souls, expanding their worlds in ways they will long remember.
If you love an Aquarian man, don’t look for social status, money or security. He may become famous, yet lose it all, often through no fault of his own, as part of the Aquarian Archetype. Be prepared to share him with his work, and understand it is always, for him, a kind of priesthood no matter how humble his setting. Aquarian males can also be attracted to the underworld of crime, simply because of its wild Uranus lawlessness, only to discover that Saturn rules the mob with an iron hand. The same archetypal drives to press past the boundaries of science, music, medicine, and oppressive laws manifest through the primitive Aquarian as the Outlaw Archetype…you may be Bonnie to his Clyde then, but be sure the ride is worth it, for the end is always doomed.
Aquarian men have been revolutionaries in history dedicated utterly to causes which overshadow all personal life – indeed, a large percentage of those called geniuses have been Aquarian males, and the genius by nature has extraordinary focus. Even if not a genius, and most Aquarians are not – the Aquarian man will have a one-pointedness, an intensity of focus combined with other-worldly attunement – from which he really channels his inspiration – which makes him hard to engage in a sustained, day-to-day manner.
And even the garden-variety Aquarian male feels that same sense of using a different calculus than others, playing by rules not in the usual play-book, and being judged by standards that are not the ones given by society, or by any institution in society, including marriage.
However, the Aquarian can be a surprisingly good family man, provided he is not a closet priest or flirting with underworld connections! Ronald Reagan was an Aquarian man who did and had it all.
He had, of course, the enlarged political vision to speak about something cosmic, dear to the Aquarian, such as the Star Wars initiative. He boldly challenged the Soviet Union to basically terminate itself and worked, with the Pope, as it turns out, to end the Soviet occupation of Poland and then of Eastern Europe. He tackled the big issues, whatever we may think of those goals or the results…
He had the fame, a divorce, a gay son, an estranged daughter, and in general, a quite unorthodox family life .Yet he also was one-half of an amazing love story that lasted through to his death, because it seems clear that his wife, Nancy, understood him and was above all his friend, the word that (rightly understood) means the world to an Aquarian.
It is worthy of note, however, that his son Ron wrote a book – My Father at 100 – in which he comments that despite the warm open man the American public loved and felt so connected to, “Everyone thinks he knows Ronald Reagan, but those who truly knew him best still grapple with the enduring mystery of his inner character.”
The Aquarian male is surprised by the warmth of love and family, but often grows into it quite nicely. He can be a delightful father, but not always in the conventional sense, for he may be more interested in a child’s original ideas and values than in shaping them in a parental style. Aquarian men often seem to have had truly dominant father figures (Saturn) and in turn, they can spend their lives remaining rebellious teenage males.
The child in him does not accept authority, any more than the adult in him does, and he is uncomfortable when forced to discipline anyone, including his children – so may do it erratically and quite badly.
Because an Aquarian man can, when pushed too hard to be head of the family, become harsh and emotionally or even physically violent with their families (Saturn, Uranus). This is because he can be uncomfortable in a fully adult role (the Aquarian is often quite out of sync with the usual timing in life cycles and sometimes seems to have an “old age” when they are children, before gradually entering a more youthful phase in mid-life.
This is awkward, although has its merits, in terms of playing the role of “responsible adult” which is so burdensome to the Aquarian male especially. Under pressure he may revert by default to the Saturn within him, usually projected outward onto the authority he rejects, and can become really quite tyrannical.
He can mature through this, provided he is on the upwardly evolving track, and provided he is shown genuine appreciation for the things he does do, that lots of husbands don’t do, like talking, and all manner of “together” things – an Aquarian husband at his best is also going to be truly his wife’s best friend. He is often quite happy to share home chores, help neighbours and play with the kids – he may be the ideal house-husband for he needs the protection of a home – from a world that does not always have a place for him in its economy – and he will truly appreciates his home more than most.
We Hold These Truths To Be Self-Evident * An Aquarian Nation
With America’s Aquarian Moon, it is not surprising that so many Presidents have been Aquarians. Abraham Lincoln surely showed the deep strains but also the endurance of Saturn, and will always be associated with the beginning of America’s battle to free her enslaved people.
President Obama had Aquarius Rising (the Ascendant) and personified a new phase in the freeing of enslaved peoples – the first president of color in the history of the United States. In many ways, his fear of tarnishing that legacy led him to avoid major decisions. His Sun Sign Leo – noted for individuality but also a great desire to be Number One and to be popular- likely trumped many of his naturally strong Aquarian impulses towards greater justice and equality in America.
One might even suggest that in his book Dreams From My Father, President Obama was seeking to bring out a missing or suppressed Saturn (Father) element which his Aquarius Ascendant could not intellectually access. This is because your sign at your Ascendant rules your physical body and the way it relates to environments and people, whereas your Sun Sign is the more intellectual, decision-making Center of your personality on Earth.
Thus he could be a good, playful Aquarian father to his daughters – his physical presence in their lives ruled by his Aquarius Ascendant – but he failed to be the stern, guiding Father to an America desperate for the radical change an Aquarian Sun might have provided in Obama’s personality makeup.
Dick Cheney, a Sun Aquarian, was for all intents and purposes, a co-president with George W. Bush. Cheney was not so hampered by a desire to be popular. In Cheney the Saturn element of Aquarius, dictatorial and authoritarian, appears to have trumped any possible humanitarian rebellion against the Establishment – indeed he became its Enforcer. In fairness to him, he expressed the Aquarian male affinity for “Family” in a sense much larger than marriage, with his Saturn ruler playing stern Father to America.
Friendship and Community as Political Principles in the Age of Aquarius
President Ronald Reagan’ s call to the Soviet Union to “Tear Down This Wall” was a call to rejoin the political community, to allow Germany to come together as one, after years of political and military division. Reagan’s call was the call of the Spirit of Aquarius – for humanity to rise above petty divisions and stereotypes of one another, to seek its greater destiny – here on Earth, and someday, perhaps, in the stars…
As we move into the Age of Aquarius, it seems to me that the world is beginning to show a yearning for new forms of political association which centers on groups dedicated to common causes. In some cases, these groups sow seeds of hate and prejudice, the opposite of Aquarius and its ideals of equality. On the internet, groups form and reform continuously, and only time will tell if these will give rise to a better or worse world.
But while it is true that the world is still dangerously unstable, both politically and geologically, it is also true that many causes dear to Aquarius are now mainstream, such as gender and racial equality, eradication of poverty, and mental health. The idealism of this Sign is now embraced as an important public dimension of many organizations and more and more governments as they open to dialogue with grass-roots movements forming more clearly into political groups with a voice.
And in the context of such developments, something new may be here on Earth: The concept of friendship raised to the level of political principle, a fragile but tangible sign that the Age of Aquarius has truly begun.
© Carol Leigh Rice 2022